Unbelieveably enough I thought that the worse thing that has ever happened to me was the time I hit my face on the IN-CHEE-AR (not the real name of my company) 6th floor's glass door. it would have been okay if no one knew about it so i could just deny everything but noooooo. first of all i have like 5 witnesses and not to mention the surveilance camera. and then the blood splatter for my DNA sample and evident swollen lips. there was absolutely no way it-wasn't-me-line was gonna work. Like chicken pox i thought that i was already immuned to anymore embarrassing moments. I mean come on? nothing can beat that right? and so i thought..
April 13, 2011 I got a call from As-In-Sure Company (just an alias) informing me that i have a job offer. Thank God the woman on the other line could not see the expression on my face. When she told me about the amount i was gonna make I almost fainted and fell off my seat. It was twice the amount i was making in IN-CHEE-AR. Not to mention the benefit package that were mentioned. I was so overwhelmed! feeling like i've won the lottery. this will definitely solve all of my financial trouble! and finally i can get a make over and help others too. This is it! this is really it!
nothing could possibly go wrong right? i mean when a reputable company offers you a job there is absolutely no way they were gonna take it back! i was gonna start on May 16. i have to submit my resignation letter right away just enough for me to complete 4 weeks before i start on the other company. so i hurried. i submitted my resignation letter without even having signed the contract.
one thing i learned was to listen to my inner voice. I was having second thoughts alright. something just didn't feel right. first sign of trouble was how come out of the 5 of us who applied in that company why only me? i mean they were better than me! second was i got called 5 minutes before my contract signing that there will be a delay because cebu has not yet received the papers.
I shoved that tiny voice in my head and went on to talk to our manager that i will no longer be staying no matter what there counter offer will be. i was so firm on my decision. I got out of the conference room feeling so damn unsecure about a whole lot of things. feeling like i was at the edge of a building and am about to go bungee jumping without having any safty net below. what i did was a suicide. i cant stop looking at my phone. "when is As-In-Sure going to call me for the contract signing?" i was feeling so damn scared. My phone rang at last and it was from As-In-Sure alright and this was what i heard "Hello ma'am maretzel? I know that we have told you that there was a delay on the signing of contract but we just got a call from an IN-CHEE-AR lead that we have to discontinue your application because of the existing agreement we just had with your company.." after that i just couldn't digest anymore of what she was saying. for a while i thought i was dreaming. it didnt seem so real? i blinked and yup i was so awake. i thought that it was some sort of joke that IN-CHEE-AR has put me through. i thought that there was another program they were having where they would call randomly an employee and would lead them to believe that there was an offer from another company and if you say yes to their offer and resign right away they would throw you this "GOTCHA!!! You just got dope!!!". The more humiliated you get the more chance you get of winning that two million by adding 100 entry in your name!!! but unfortunately enough this was really happening. I got offered a job and then they took it away just like that. more like a door to a castle has been opened and they take a look at you and realize that you don't belong there and slam it hard on my face. ouch that hurt! After what i went through sorry is all they can say. I was crushed. Have you ever get that feeling where someone tells you this "give me 5" and then you actually thought they were gonna give you that only to find out that the moment you were gonna hit their hand they hide it right away and would laugh at you for being stupid? it's even worse than that! i realize that the currently most embarrassing moment sitting on the number 1 spot on my list could not even surpass the amount of humiliation that i felt right now. there was nothing i can do anymore. i just couldn't beg my job back. if i do that i would double the humiliation that i have already placed myself into. so here i am, victim of my decision. two weeks from now i will be jobless.
but of course i can't blame either of the company now, i mean yeah i was pissed off about the whole it's-their-fault excuse everytime i would ask them what my options are. i understand that this is just business and i have absolutely do not stand a chance against the big guys. i mean i am just this tiny person. what can i possibly do if i fight against giants right? so it would be better i guess to just go and retreat. so i thought i will just let the whole thing slide and go on with my life even if as of now i really feel defeated.
I have decided to try my luck in Manila. i'm so scared right now. I'm broke with so many bills to pay and i dont even have any savings. OH MY GOD! what the hell have i done? Lord help me out here. i just don't know what to do anymore. this is just depressing. :(
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